Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
