New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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