If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
