What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
