Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
