people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize