Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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