i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
