Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
