Yo dont text me then not text me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
