But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
