I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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