Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize