You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You work out of a Hotel?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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