last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
