If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize