"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
