He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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