sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
