i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
As shirtless as possible
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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