So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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