I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
