Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
