So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
