either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
