I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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