If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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