both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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