Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry dicksucker hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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(516): View more from New York

I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH

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(503): View more from Oregon

do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?

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(650): View more from California

You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

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(205): View more from Alabama

They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

this is not real life

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

it never is. after midnight never counts.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.

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