I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
