i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize