You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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