all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Found the puke drawer
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
