Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
