Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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