idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
