Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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