he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
