Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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