I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
