she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
