Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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