I faked an abortion last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
