He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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