So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
