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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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