The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
