so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
