id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
