...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
