you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize