She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize