Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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