Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
