Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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