So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
