I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
