question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
