Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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