You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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