i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
