That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
