Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
