Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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