He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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