Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
