You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize