How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
