I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
sex in a hospital.. check
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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