Do you still have your period?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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